It is January. The temperature is in the single digits. Springs dangles like a rope, just out of reach. I am on my second (so far!) period of the month (I believe I am compensating for Andrea's pregnancy scare. Our uteri have been in cahoots for at least a few years. I am happy to take one for the team, but not sure that I really needed two doses of PMS this month).

But I have a clean desk!

I've been working on making small, consistent changes in my home. Deal with the mail every day. Deal with the dishes every day. Basically, deal. Every. Day.

Am I happier for it?

I think I am. If not overjoyed, I am at least feeling more peaceful. Like I can breathe. The other day, a friend's husband came over to pick up some baby gear we were done with. He was supposed to come around noonish; instead, the doorbell rang at just after 7a.m. But! I was dressed! The house was reasonably clean (full disclosure: our monthly housekeeping had occured the day before, but still!)! It wasn't until after he left that I realized the lack of panic I felt when the doorbell rang. Last month around this time, he might've found himself tripping over toy cars, stepping on small piles of Cheerios, and I would probably have been in my dirty monkey pajama pants and a stained nursing tank. It felt good to not panic.

So this experiment is going well thus far. I've also just been, like Andrea, doing little things to make myself happier. Listening to music more (Lana Del Rey is my current obsession). I even went to the movies twice this month. I've been wearing jewelry. I am, basically, taking it up a notch. February's goals will be even more of that.

And sometimes, like the lack of panic over early visitor incident, something bad not happening can bring happiness. See below picture of my daughter making her I'mGonnaPoopintheBathtub face. But guess what? She didn't! And I was happy!

Blue Monday

<Andy Williams voice> It's the un!happiest! daaaay of the yeeeear.....</Andy Williams voice>

Yes folks, it's Blue Monday. That craptastic day in January when forces conspire to make us all miserable. Except, somehow it was not too miserable. I credit this to a bit of extra sleep, a bit of socializing and sunshine, and yoga. Basically, a mashup of all the things I aim to do through my resolutions this year, this month.

SO! The resolutions update for the week:

-declutter my house, one problem area a week -- well, I removed Christmas. The girls mourned the loss of the sparkly tree and there are 10000000 fir needles on the floor, but we are seasonally correct! And have most of our living room back! Oh, also we cleaned up the Big Girl's room. It looks lovely.

(Now, to get her to sleep in there. Major sidebar here, but since when is 3.75 years an age of major sleep regression? There is clinginess and separation anxiety, there are bad dreams, there is crawling into my bed at 1 am. I am not one to pass up some cuddles but am reaching my limit on stiff neck-sleep, pre-dawn kidney kicks, and snorfling in my ear.)

-drink 50 oz of water a day -- haven't been so great on this one, but just being more conscious makes a difference.

-exercise or orgasm daily -- success! is all I will say about that one. WINK. Except I have been working my way through the Couch to 5K program on my iPhone and it makes running on the treadmill fun! (-Ish.)

-vegan (or almost so) before supper, except on weekends -- I have kept it "almost so," except one morning when I craved an egg sandwich so badly my car turned itself towards Mr. Bagel. I COULDN'T HELP IT. It was some combination of mild nausea (the family has worked through a stomach bug) and the residue of an extremely vivid dream in which I was pregnant which made me feel morning sickness and yes I took a pregnancy test IRL and thank the LORD it was negative but I still enjoyed that egg and cheese sandwich. It had  a tomato on it, anyway.

-go to bed before 11 pm -- mostly successful. I am not sure why but this one is not feeling so important. I think the effects of exercise and diet are making me need less sleep. Why hasn't anyone thought of that before? Har har.

And here is your bonus video for today:



In spite of that classic downer, happy bluebirds to you.

-A

So Resolved: January

Pinpointing the happiest extended moment in my life is easy: it was a time when I was doing...well...everything. I had been in NYC long enough that I knew how to get around, but not long enough that the excitement and dazzle had worn away. I had a new job which I loved, and it was for a good cause. I was in a yoga teacher training program and rehearsing for a dance performance. I was conducting two romantic relationships: one across the country, so there was much writing involved, and one with an ex with whom I had fantastic sex. So there was, um, much sex involved. Every day I woke up invigorated, looking forward to getting on the train with my head full of words and my bag full of clothes for my after-work activities. With gleeful anticipation of new email and new choreography. In spite of all my activity and socializing I didn't take one sick day that whole year. I felt light and glowy and KNEW I was happy.

Or, as The Gretchen would put it, I was feeling good, feeling right (though the two-relationship thing would put that feeling to a screeching halt some months later), in an atmosphere of growth. So THAT moment, those months, where I was writing furiously, learning something new every day, eating right to fuel  exercising my body into a happy state of well-earned exhaustion (instead of my new normal just plain exhaustion) is what I am aiming for here.

SO in January, I have resolved (similar to my coblogger) to up my energy by focusing on the physical.

I will:

-declutter my house, one problem area a week (last week was the kitchen play area, a true eyesore)

-drink 50 oz of water a day (this is harder than I thought! but so far at least I am not looking at the clock at 3 pm realizing that all I've had to drink is coffee)

-exercise or orgasm daily (so far, gold star for me every day! but not going to tell you which because I am a lady. A lady with a brand-new detachable shower head with six massaging settings ahem)

-vegan (or almost so) before supper, except on weekends because bacon. And pancakes. (this one is easy because the only non-vegan thing I might want during the day is yogurt or cheese, and I allow myself those if I really want. No meat though, ever!)

-go to bed before 11 pm (eh, not so great, but also I don't care so much because everyone is sleeping pretty well in general. This seemed more urgent before the holidays during the Great Teething and Flu Sleep-Fuckery)

In general, my body is a wonderland; treat it as such. If I feel better after this month, these resolutions might become a through-line for the whole year.

Now tell me your resolutions!

Um, please?

Happy bluebirds to you,
Andrea

Thou Shalt...

The other day, I heard someone telling a story about a co-worker. The person, let's call her "J", works with elementary school kids. This particular day, the kids were rowdy. They were yelling and arguing and just generally unruly. Her co-worker, who J described as a "big southern lady," told the kids in a very loud, strong voice, "You've forgotten who you are!"

I haven't been able to get that line out of my head. You've forgotten who you are.

When I was a kid, I used to love to read. And write. I loved being outside. I loved picking blueberries until my fingers were purple and stained. And before I had children, I loved to do yoga and dance and listen to music. I loved to go to movies and stare at the ocean and write in my journal. These things made me not just happy, but sane.

I need to find a way to do these things again. They are not complicated things; I am not aiming to cure an illness or learn to skydive.

Here are my twelve principles to guide my Happiness Project:

Remember who you are.
Create and find peace.
Get out.
Love, not fear.
Ask for help.
Be consistent.
Have fun!
Be here.
Try it!
Find magic.
You can start over anytime.
Progress, not perfection.

What have you forgotten about yourself?

Order in Da House!!!

The last month of 2012 was far from my finest. Think friends with cancer, a big family crisis, and an insidious flu bug burrowing through my little family. Bad times were had by all. So I too am committing to making 2013 a year with more happiness. In The Happiness Project, The Gretchen writes about one of her intents being to create more happiness while she's not in the midst of misfortune, so that when she is, she will be better equipped to deal. There is something, however, to be said of being sick and tired of being sick and tired, and that is where I jump in. In a land far away (okay, about years away) I knew how to take really good care of myself. Then I had two kids in three years, meaning I've been either pregnant or had a little one hanging off my boob National Geographic style for about four and a half years. It is hard to get to the spa with boob/womb sloths hanging on you, people! But seriously. I adore my children, but they are not getting the best part of me. I am not getting the best of me. And I'm starting with my messy fucking house.

Clutter has been vexxing me my entire life. I have gotten a little better at managing it, but with two small children and Christmas and birthdays, things have gotten bad. One of the things The Gretchen did in January was to focus on energizing herself, and clutter is a huge energy vamp. This will be my main focus this month. I will post disturbing before pictures to shame motivate myself, and tidier after pictures to help celebrate. How are you energizing this January? ~Lynn

Writ on Stone

My new best friend Gretchen recommends laying out a set of Personal Commandments at the beginning of your Happiness Project. And lo, I do everything she says, for Gretchen is my Oprah, I shall not want.

More than 5, fewer than 12, precepts to guide my actions and thoughts. No problem, right?

I am loosely organizing my Project on the mind-body-spirit triumvirate, so will follow those connections through. For example: Commandment 1, Everything in its right place -- a phrase that floats through my mind often, from that Radiohead song. Extended out: find the right place for physical objects in my home, office, etc; find the right place to do yoga; find the right places/moments to offer criticism, etc.

AND SO THE TWELVE COMMANDMENTS OF ANDREA, HERE WRIT FOREVERMORE

Everything in its right place.
Squelch the drama.
Your reaction is your reality.
Say yes.
Be nice.
Give thanks, give back.
Your body is a wonderland; treat it so.
Do stuff.
Write it down.
Appreciate nature.
I'll wait. Not forever.
Just ask.

Yes, I used a 30 Rock reference. Liz Lemon 4 LYFE ya'll. And shut up, John Meyers sings nice.

BONUS! This still makes me laugh really hard.



Happy bluebirds to you,
Andrea

2013, BRING IT

I think most of us could agree that 2012, as a whole, was a pile of suck. There were some good moments (thanks to my adorable children, Downton Abbey, and Zumba!) but boy, like the girl with a curl, when it was bad, it was horrid.

Enough said about that. This is a new year.

A month or so ago, I was clicking around Amazon.com for various essentials. Something floated into the back of my brain, something I had heard about, something that sounded mighty appealing: Gretchen Rubin's book, The Happiness Project. Two clicks later, it was in my cart. Then, as I always do, I forgot what I ordered until the smiley boxes showed up at my door. I noticed with aggravation that I had somehow ordered the wrong laundry soap. And anyway, our washing machine was broken. And I had to make supper and the house was cold and the dog peed on the floor and and and...there was the book. With a blue sky and a bluebird on the cover and the skyline of what I imagined to be my old neighborhood in Brooklyn.

After the girls went to bed, I opened the book. And it didn't leave my hands (with a few moments for child-rearing and a few hours after my 3-year old hid it on me because it is MY book because I like BLUEBIRDS) for the next two days. And as soon as I finished it I forced it into the hands of my good friend (and now, co-blogger), Lynn.

And so we begin our journey into happiness. I am trying this to find my sparkle again, to be a more patient and fun mama, and to beat back the Fear of Forty.

I'll be sharing my monthly resolutions and progress, or lack thereof. I mean, right now? It is January, it is 7 degrees. It is dark at 4 pm. There is a large slice of peanut-butter cheesecake in the fridge. See where I am going with this??

Cross your fingers for me. And let us know if you want to play along!

HAPPY BLUEBIRDS TO ALL.

-Andrea