WHAT HOW WHEN I MEAN OOPS IT'S MAY.
March went OK. I am keeping my flossing habit because DUH I JUST SHOULD. I discovered that I am absolutely unable to do anything before it is absolutely necessary -- and why do morning chores at night? The minutes will fill up no matter if I prep the baby's bottles at night or in the morning, and I found myself extra resentful that I was using my precious post-kids-sleeping hours doing childcare-related chores. I have, however, found that accepting this trait in myself has made the mornings feel easier. Hey, I am choosing to get the kids' snacks ready in the morning! I am choosing to pack the car just before we leave so I can have time for an extra episode of Parks and Rec at night! It is a conscious choice! MASTER OF MY FATE, CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL, etc.
That and the fact that because it is light in the morning, we are waking up 30 minutes earlier. None of us seem more sleep-deprived, and the mornings are much more relaxed. Having some clean spaces to gaze upon while multi-tasking my mornings helps too.
As for the negative thought spirals..well. I have decided to go into therapy (again). A Happiness Project can only take a girl so far, you know what I mean? While being aware of my tendency to dwell in negativity certain helps to quell the tendency in the moment, it doesn't quite touch the root cause, which -- really -- is a lifelong depressive streak. That's just how I roll, unfortunately, and I would like a neutral party to remind me that everything is not a disaster even when some things are, and that I should probably not in fact explode my life and move my family to Zambia or something equally drastic and destructive because I am feeling all the bad feels.
And so! My April resolutions were all about levity. I wanted to laugh and make my kids laugh and for all of us to be and feel lighter.
Is April really the cruelest month? My elder daughter's birthday rings in the month, right on the Fool's Day (and while she can be quite silly, she is no fool, and seems to have inherited my serious/intense streak, so sorry, dear child). Spring is burgeoning in our part of the country and the extra dose of Vitamin D has been very helpful. But then there was all the national tragedy -- dear god are we going to have a month when the flag at half-staff is NOT necessary -- and while paltry in comparison, did my resolutions seem so very necessary. Especially when I found myself half-present with my girls while my mind was in Boston. No, Andrea, you may not refresh Boston.com, I told myself, because you have to attend to making up a song with Little A. that includes all of the conjugations of "poop." Because it is on your damn resolution list!
Anyway, here were my resolutions:
1. Be EXTRA silly with the girls once every day. Fart jokes and funny faces ABSOLUTELY.
2. Watch or read something funny every day.
3. Sing aloud at least once every day.
4. Break up with my phone (mostly).
And yes! Dear reader! I did these things. Some days required binge-watching of Parks and Rec. Some days required incessantly flipping through the radio dial until we found a station playing Ho Hey AGAIN. Because there is nothing better for the soul than hearing both the 4 year old and the 16 month old sing You my fweet-HAAAAAART! The phone has taken up permanent residence on the other side of the bedroom so I open my eyes to natural light instead of the glow of Facebook. And it helped. All of it helped.
May resolutions to come. And in the meantime, I hope you are enjoying the flowers and all that. You've earned them.
Happy bluebirds to you,
Andrea
Showing posts with label Wrap it Up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wrap it Up. Show all posts
Friday, May 3, 2013
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Gimme an F!
As in F! ING! FEBRUARY!!11!!
Seriously. This month is for poop. This whole winter is kind of for poop, but the long snowy wet cold slog of February (can it really be the shortest month?) just takes the poopy cake. We have had some nice moments and my resolutions have helped but SERIOUSLY. Enough!
I gladly take my leave of you, February.
So to the monthly wrap-up:
As you may recall my resolutions were all about finding and taking teeny moments in time. For the most part, I stuck to them. On a few days I was too lazy to shower or tend to moi terlet so I did not perfume me. And on a few days my stomach rebelled against the idea of chocolate or wine (what a stupid stomach I have). But for the most part, I took those moments. Me! No! Mine! Mine! My moments!
(Sorry, I have a 14 month old for whom possession is 110% of the law.)
It felt pretty luxurious to smell good and to indulge my senses for a few minutes most days. I found that sensibility bleeding into other areas - once I smelled nice, I would then feel like looking a bit nicer. Maybe a little blush, even some earrings! So fancy! And maybe we could set the table to look a little nicer with my nice glass of wine! Maybe sit down to enjoy my chocolate! Instead of eating it while hanging over the counter and watching something crappy on the TV! So fancy!
"Suppressing the harsh tone" proved to be...challenging. Sometimes it meant I said nothing for long, long moments. Sometimes I forgot the resolution altogether and indulged the shout or swear or sent a text without editing. I might bring this one forward another month.
My most favorite bit was the daily photograph. At the end of each day, with a sleepy baby on my lap and (most nights) a sleeping toddler next to me, when all was quiet, I could look through the moments I had captured that day and choose my favorite. Then crop and filter so it became even more blurrily lovely and then bam! Onto the internet it goes! The grandparents were pleased as punch, and I discovered this is an easy way to almost completely reframe a day. Do I remember what happened in the hours before this photo was taken? Not really. But I do get a warm fuzzy feeling each time I look at it and can remember exactly how I felt in the moment it was taken. Like this one.
Baby G was perfecting her "running away and giggling at Mama" routine during one of our morning drop-offs. But as soon as I suggested she and Sister hold hands, she raced towards her Big and together, they walked to the building. And my heart exploded.
...And every day I found some moment that had similar impact. Altogether worthy exercise. The best. I'm going to keep it up, if not hold myself to a daily schedule.
And on shall we go together, dear Reader, holding hands, out of the crapfest February, into the everso-slightly-closer to Spring month of March! I shall not shy away from cliche, and will devote my month to resolutions around Spring Cleaning. See you there!
Happy bluebirds to you, A
Seriously. This month is for poop. This whole winter is kind of for poop, but the long snowy wet cold slog of February (can it really be the shortest month?) just takes the poopy cake. We have had some nice moments and my resolutions have helped but SERIOUSLY. Enough!
I gladly take my leave of you, February.
So to the monthly wrap-up:
As you may recall my resolutions were all about finding and taking teeny moments in time. For the most part, I stuck to them. On a few days I was too lazy to shower or tend to moi terlet so I did not perfume me. And on a few days my stomach rebelled against the idea of chocolate or wine (what a stupid stomach I have). But for the most part, I took those moments. Me! No! Mine! Mine! My moments!
(Sorry, I have a 14 month old for whom possession is 110% of the law.)
It felt pretty luxurious to smell good and to indulge my senses for a few minutes most days. I found that sensibility bleeding into other areas - once I smelled nice, I would then feel like looking a bit nicer. Maybe a little blush, even some earrings! So fancy! And maybe we could set the table to look a little nicer with my nice glass of wine! Maybe sit down to enjoy my chocolate! Instead of eating it while hanging over the counter and watching something crappy on the TV! So fancy!
"Suppressing the harsh tone" proved to be...challenging. Sometimes it meant I said nothing for long, long moments. Sometimes I forgot the resolution altogether and indulged the shout or swear or sent a text without editing. I might bring this one forward another month.
My most favorite bit was the daily photograph. At the end of each day, with a sleepy baby on my lap and (most nights) a sleeping toddler next to me, when all was quiet, I could look through the moments I had captured that day and choose my favorite. Then crop and filter so it became even more blurrily lovely and then bam! Onto the internet it goes! The grandparents were pleased as punch, and I discovered this is an easy way to almost completely reframe a day. Do I remember what happened in the hours before this photo was taken? Not really. But I do get a warm fuzzy feeling each time I look at it and can remember exactly how I felt in the moment it was taken. Like this one.
...And every day I found some moment that had similar impact. Altogether worthy exercise. The best. I'm going to keep it up, if not hold myself to a daily schedule.
And on shall we go together, dear Reader, holding hands, out of the crapfest February, into the everso-slightly-closer to Spring month of March! I shall not shy away from cliche, and will devote my month to resolutions around Spring Cleaning. See you there!
Happy bluebirds to you, A
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